San Diego Buddhists seize nukes

July 28, 2006

Since the United Nations gave San Diego County to the World Buddhist Federation on Monday events have escalated dramatically. The Buddhist Militia also known as Gayaists are reputed to have more than 12,000 well armed men and women ready to defend the mandate of the United Nations. Yesterday the Gayaist militia moved with great speed to seize the Naval stockpiles of weapons. It is believed that many nuclear weapons were among those seized. A Pentagon official told our reporter off the record “The nation of Gayael is now the world’s third largest nuclear power!" The News is trying to get more information on why all Pentagon forces are being withdrawn out of San Diego County.

Tens of thousands of mostly white refugees have been pouring into surrounding counties claiming the Buddhists had run them off their land. While the Mexican and hispanic population have supported their mostly Asian neighbors in the formation of Gayael, many have become disenchanted with the idea of a Buddhist theocracy.

A spokesperson for the United Nations in New York again reiterated the UN’s mandate claiming Buddhists had suffered throughout Asia the past 70 years and now needed a homeland. The people of San Diego wonder why it had to be their home to give away. Many are already speaking of endless rebellion against any and all Buddhists wherever they are until San Diego is returned to the San Diegans.